pediatric oral surgeries of the backwoods
I walked down the stairs and to the car calmly, white crunching underfoot. Buckled Evan into his seat calmly. Shut the door calmly. Dialed the phone calmly. Justin answered. Calmly. At which point I stepped out of my kid's frame of view and unleashed fifteen minutes of f-bombs and sobbing.
Six months ago our dentist said that Evan had a "tiny" cavity, and instructed us to come back in six months or so to get it fixed. Today, it took a mirror on a stick and all of fourteen seconds for her to step back from him, pull me aside and tell me that she suspects he is a werewolf. A werewolf who drinks too much Pepsi.
Then she told me what she saw in his mouth, other than half-chewed accountants.
Five large cavities so far gone that one tooth is half lost. A referral for two root canals, two stainless steel crowns and three fillings. For a boy who just turned five. Heavy sedation at best. Hospital and general anesthesia at worst. For a boy who JUST TURNED FIVE.
Two root canals. He's five. I can't even joke about it.
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The lady across the road dropped a can of Mountain Dew into his bag at Halloween and he pulled it back out and gave it to her and said, "Thank you nice lady, but I don't drink beer."
"It's not beer!" she replied.
"Oh. Thank you nice lady, but I don't drink wine."
Yeah I know. Move along. The point is, Evan doesn't know what pop is.
We are unfun (see exhibit A: video game meltdown). We don't buy ice cream or sweets or Sugar Crisp cereal (dammit, Justin) because if you don't have them in the house, they don't cause tantrums. It's easier that way. The kids get dilute juice, if at all, except on special occasions like Christmas or birthdays or Parliamentary prorogue parties.
Alright. So I guess I can joke about it. Mostly because I don't want you to think we're prissy and due for comeuppance. We're responsible, but not uptight. We're cautious, but not unfair. So I show you evidence of Evan's one and only slushie to prove... what, exactly? That we're neither better nor worse than any other parent? Maybe. That I can take my preschooler's two root canals in stride? That would be a lie. I can't relay the news to anyone without crying and asking to be tied up to the nearest whipping post.
Most of the time, we're beyond unfun. We're demented. We pour All-Bran onto yogurt and call it Stick Soup and bring it over to the table singing and ooohing and aahhing like it's gold-leafed croquembouche. They think it's dessert. We slap five and cackle behind our hands.
We brush no less diligently than anyone else with the exception of that family in Blue Rocks that has three sumo wrestlers living in their upstairs bathroom. We do marginally less well than they do at enforcing oral hygiene. Fair enough.
My story, the one I'm still trying to sell to myself? As a rural kid, he's never had a drop of fluoride. We're on a well and always have been. Combine that with naturally soft or cavity-prone teeth and you end up with a kid with a stainless-steel grill who can bite through electrical cable if required. In case that pesky British spy shows up trying to seduce an almost-37 year-old mother of highly dubious performance, we have an in-house villain.
From here we go to a specialist, and urgently. Then the possibility of the hospital to fix it, and then what? I know. Carrot sticks and water until he goes away to university. Clothes made of styrofoam popcorn. Payouts to witch doctors and the mafia. Jesus Christ himself nabbed in one of those Holy Ghost traps that you bait with marshmallow fluff, then tethered to my kid with velcro like an inhuman shield.
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This is just the beginning, isn't it?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Reader Comments (79)
An aside... My mother has soft teeth and has spent too much time with the dentist... When she and my father first became very serious, she found out he'd never been to a dentist so she took him to hers. When his appointment finished, the dentist came out and told her to marry my father for her childrens sake - my father had only one tiny cavity. (It worked, both my brother and I have good teeth (not straight, but solid)).
I posted about this quandary yesterday. My husband and I are in epic fluoride drop batttle with our 8 month old. We are even on well water.
I am so sorry for the wee one. MY teeth suck and so I empathize greatly.
This just totally solidifies my desire to put him on drops like his ped. recommends.
I would be yelling and crying, but this is so totally not you. You aren't like me, sneaking Dr. Pepper to the brats. :D
The dentist and a 5 year old tho. Shudder. Good luck hun.
Poor Evan. I can totally understand why you're frantic.
The only time I drank flouridated water was in university. Every other place I've lived (incl. now) has had a well. My teeth seem fine. Some people just have very soft enamel. With luck, his permanent teeth will be a bit stronger. Good luck.
This is another one of those things we all beat ourselves up over,so I doubt it will help you when I tell you it's not your fault. You know that already, but I doubt it makes you feel any better. x
I just wish I could shake this feeling that it's something we've done or not done. I know that's not true in my head, but once you're a parent you're pretty much hardwired to take on all the fault in the universe.... fun, games, etc.
we sing about the all bran too. :)
anyhoo, your Mother of the Year feelings are catching...i need to sneak away from work now and go floss my kids and rub fluoride all over them and say a few hail Marys.
You could kick yourself over and over again if he'd been given candy corn and poptarts for every meal, and, you'd deserve a few self-inflicted kicks(and maybe some from others) if that were that case. This is just bad lack, not a result of bad choices.
Try not to beat yourself up about it. Also, let me know if I need to buy 8,000 copies of The Dread Crew to help fund your dentist bill! ;)
I'd ask about drops, or anything really. And I'm so so sorry. I had massive oral surgery at age 8 to get rid of pretty much every remaining baby tooth in my mouth and a number of the adult teeth that were set to come in before they did. My mom gave me a huge pack of different flavored lip gloss when I woke up, and I made it through. Love to you all, and let the poor kid know a great sugar free surprise awaits.
You can get fluoride supplements. I would, in your case, considering the well water. Or could you drink bottled water?
You can also get his remaining teeth sealed with some kind of magic that will prevent cavities in the future. Ask your dentist. My siblings and I had this sealant applied as children.
Speaking of my siblings, my brother had asthma and took gallons and gallons of that pink bubblegum medicine (is it amoxicillin?) over the course of his childhood. He had the worst teeth of the three of us (my sister and I didn't take much medicine) and his teeth improved when my mom finally put it together and started him taking pills instead of syrup. So, while his DIET may be great, look to your son's medications (if he takes any), too.
But most of all, don't feel guilty. It's not your fault.
So SO sorry about this Kate that would drive any mother insane. :( I'll be praying for peace for you guys, that is such a really big deal but he will be fine and you are ever still his amazing mother and nothing less and don't listen to voices that tell you any different or berate you for every grain of sugar! Did I mention my mom kept a giant salad bowl with candy, twinkies and ding dongs, coke and capri suns at the ready my whole life with no limitations... yes, dumb luck (although I did fall in K5 and knock out all four front teeth for two years)... I wish I could take his cavities and root canals for him. much love.
Our dentist posts stuff on his walls in the waiting room about the acid levels in our everyday drinks. Makes for fun waiting, but nothing I'd ever thought of...
My husband had misformed enamel on his teeth as a child. And this WAS in the days of the backwoods dentistry in his neck of Henry County. YIKES!! Evan will have much better care, guaranteed. And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVED the trick-or-treating story. Adorable.
My advice to you: flouinated vitamins. Had them myself as a well water-drinking kid and came out with nice teeth (if I do say so myself). Oh, and never again walk out of a dentist's office with a "tiny" cavity (I'm sure you learned that lesson). My daughter had one of those and we had it filled, immediately, and didn't even have to have lidocaine. It was awesome!
And one more thing...sealants! Have they talked to you about sealants?
Hoping for the best for Evan and YOU!
Good luck. sigh....
I guess I'm not totally horrified because I WAS THIS KID. Fluoride could not help me. I just lost the genetic lottery toothwise. And NO, it's not your fault unless you want to beat yourself up for carrying the genes.
What is important is to continue to get him good care and to teach him that he will need more care than the average person for the rest of his life. But we are in the first world and modern dentistry is very, very good. Also, I don't know if anyone has said this yet, but I'd definitely want a second opinion before going any route that requires general anesthesia. I've had radically different advice from different dental professionals and I'd have something in my mouth that I'd have to put in a glass at night if I listened to some of them.
(And by saying that, I don't at all mean that you *should* be beating yourself up!!)
Also a worry of mine as we are on well water too.
I swear we brush too, every morning, every night. I have to admit that after 7 years of policing the candy, Bella at some point over the last year turned into a crack head candy addict and Julie followed suit. I got really busy and life was crazy and uh, I totally let it happen because it was easier than fighting.
The moral of my story? I blame Halloween. And Christmas. And Elijah's Grandmother - who delivers bags full of contraband treats to all 26 members of Bella's second grade class on a weekly basis. I've never met Elijah's grandmother, but I plan on sending her a portion of the dental bill.
In other words, pretty global, and not something one individual mom could affect.
I mentioned vitamin D just because my dental surgeon is all over it, not just as a bone issue, but because there is a strong correlation between Vitamin D deficiency and dental problems and low D has literally become an epidemic in Canada. Everyone thought it was no big deal.....but that idea and the old guidelines are based on a pre-global warming era, when we could get decent vitamin D from the sun. And when Maritimers and Moms handed out cod liver oil which actually had D back then, and no longer has much at all.
And Health Canada isn't doing anything to increase D in milk or food or vitamins so here we are giving our kids yogurt and milk and thinking it's enough, and it's nowhere near enough.....I took loads of vitamin D when I was pregnant with Julius for example, but I was already so deficient that I was crippled with osteomalacia right after he was born, and still haven't caught up. Hence my soon to happen dental surgery. Sigh....
So in a global sense, dental problems can be prevented and treated, but on an individual level? How in the hell were you supposed to know about this? You did the best you could, and no more could be asked.
Just hand your kid a slushy to swallow down his vitamin D pills and give yourself a break. ;)
Please, please get a second opinion...
I've never written to a blogger before. But I saw this and my heart sank.
My local dentist (have been to him for 25 years) told me this recession is causing many dentists in our area to prescribe unnecessary work. Sad, but true...
i live in France, was raised by my grandparents & had the type of childhood your son has ( no extra sugar, no pops, no candies) ... and yet many cavities on molars.
as the age of 39 i have 6 crowns (and was told it could have been worse) i'm totally obsessed by having my teeth clean & not eating/drinking too much sugar. i'm doing my best but there will always be some regrets although it was not my fault.
for a while we thought it was because i grew up like a weed up to 5ft 10, but when i see my daughter with a 100% clean bill from the dentist at the age of 10 (and as tall as i was at her age) i got to think there must be a good thing in the fluoride + vit. D they supply kids with nowadays.
there is no fluoride supply in our (from tap) water in france & here in the western area we don't get that much sun after all... children get regular (drinkable) shots of fluoride as babies & toddlers & vit.D until age of 8 or 10... it is not too late for your son, since for now it's about his milk teeth. i was so upset he had to have crowns... i've never seen this here, unless it's a broken tooth by accident.
also, this past decade dentists "seal" molar teeth tops with a kind of resin, that lasts for about 6 years and is supposed to protect them at a critical stage (age 8 to 14)...
good luck & a better teeth health to your son
You're all just so wise and so generous. Thank you so, so much.
In contrast, I've been watching Hope for Haiti tonight and feel like a silly and oblivious fool for fretting so much about teeth. That's all it is, after all.
Still, thank you all. I'll be re-reading with a pen and paper in hand. xo
...and Leigh, you're kidding, right? I'm giggling. That's one of those water tattoos that presses on with a wet washcloth. They boys are regularly festooned with swords in hearts and skulls and sharks and guitars. But you had to be joking. Either way, still giggling. :)
I am naturally prone to bad teeth. My mother didn't feed me bad foods. I wasn't even allowed chocolate until I was nearly four. The closest thing I came to dangerous tooth habits as a small child was sucking my thumb and an all abiding love of my blue sippy cup, or my "blue lolly" which I was only allowed to indulge in at bedtimes, while being rocked on my mother's lap.
And yet, by the time I was six, I had had multiple tooth extractions. My teeth kept abscessing. I remember those extractions rather vividly. It helped that my dentist was Brown Owl of my Brownie troop, but it was still very uncomfortable.
The worst part was that those early extractions made my big girl teeth come in sooner, which meant that I had more teeth than my mouth had room for, resulting in a hideous overlapping jumble which took years of retainers and braces to sort out.
The bright side? I have only had a couple of cavities filled, ever. I have learned to take good care of my teeth, out of fear of the dentist!
In any case, thank heavens for modern dentisty. When my dad was 16, he went to a dentist. The dentist found his teeth, hitherto untouched by denistry, to be riddled with cavities. His solution? Yank the teeth. My dad came to high school the next day with only ten teeth left in his mouth. He never talks about that day, but he's very weird about his teeth. My mother, who has been married to him for 35 years, has NEVER seen him with his teeth out. He sleeps with them in. I was 10 before I learned that he even wore false teeth.
So be glad that your son won't have to live through that shame! Nowadays they FIX the teeth.
That said, I had AWFUL teeth as a kid, partially due to me decieving my parents about nighttime teeth brushing and partially due to a mouthful of soft, wimpy grinders. But then I turned seven and started getting my adult teeth, and they were much, much more sturdy. So far, I've only got one cavity. Have hope! This is not your fault!
i have to confess some fear regarding dentist visits in the future now. sending lots of tooth fixing vibes your way for the upcoming surgeries.
and hospital anesthesia that'll set you back a cool .... well, several thousand USD (you can do the exchange) and I am here to tell that I have a child with the same diagnosis and the sedation VERSED worked quite nicely and she had at least the amount of dental work your son is facing if not more. VERSED (ver-sed). Ask about it when you consult the next best dentist in your maritime province.
I don't want to sound like I'm all "nyaa! nyaa!" from the north. It just boggles my mind that so many Americans still object to the idea of universal healthcare (not saying that you do), and that so many of them still seem to cling to so many myths about the rumoured healthcare shortfalls of other systems. Not that we don't have shortfalls - but the point is that we get the care we need for the people we love without the question of money ever entering the picture. That reality sets the tone in families, I think. There isn't that stress hanging over our heads, the stress of imminent ruin (or at best, inadequate and expensive insurance coverage that fails to get you what you need in crisis) based on inevitable health issues. All we need to do is get angsty as moms and dads. Not as credit line holders.
Yeah. See? Sheepish.
My oldest daughter had the same thing done at age 4 as well.
Neither of them ate much by way of sugar, and we were regular brushers and flossers. One dentist told me that it was genetics. Some kids have bacteria in their mouth that makes them more prone to cavities.
I have 2 other kids with no cavities who eat way more junk then the older 2.
All in all it cost us about $9,000, and now my oldest just graduated to braces to the tune of $2700 (half is covered by insurance). Fun!
The surgery is scary, but he'll be fine. Just be aware that he'll be REALLY loopy when they first bring you back to see him. Then they conk out again and wake up mostly normal.
I have severe phobias about dentistry due to some extractions that were done in a mostly-painless but unsympathetic and very scary way when I was seven or eight. My only advice would be to seek out the pros who know how to make this as scariness-free as possible for a little boy. I hope he sees it as a weird adventure.
My sister had TWO root canals at four (put mostly under with gas) and was over it by the next day.