blessed, beached

Three weeks post-launch, I chirp that writing The Dread Crew was EASY! and A JOY WITH EVERY PAGE! and NOT REMOTELY AN ACTIVITY THAT HAD ME WISHING MY BRAIN WERE MADE OF SQUEAKY RUBBER SO IT COULD GET CHEWED ON BY A PACK OF FERAL DOGS!

Such is my current declaration of what it is to write a novel. Anything but hermitude and word-wrestling agony. Fish in a barrel, in fact. Ironic. For now, aspiring to the second one, I am that squinty-eyed crone who never showers and shoos her kids away and lusts for seclusion and rarely eats anything in one sitting other than nine triscuits or a bowl of brussels sprouts or crusts off the playroom floor. My husband calls the laptop 'The Camilla Parker Bowles Of Our Marriage'. Which means he gets to be Princess Diana. Our neighbours are starting to wonder if I am somebody's figment. I’ve never seen her. Have you ever seen her? I know someone who said they saw her once. They said she was really… white.

It's true that writing the Dread Crew was flowy and natural. And it’s not until now—having begun the continuation of the story a couple of weeks ago—that I realize why.

I was playing. I had no idea I was writing a book.

+++

Yesterday I sat in a most hallowed studio overlooking Citadel Hill for an interview on CBC’s Mainstreet, the public radio show that pretty much every Nova Scotian listens to while making supper or driving home. I talked about pirates and publishing and Liam and the path from the NICU to rosy cheeks to bound pages. I stumbled through the ten-cent tour of what led to incubation. I read an excerpt. I explained why I ran away and landed on the front porch of Grampa Joe's woodland cabin. I trash-talked philosophers and priests. Listen to the whole interview here.

Sitting at that round table as the 'live' light went red, I hardly breathed, convinced that I’d be the first person in Maritime history to have my head swallowed whole by a microphone.

It’s a theme, this whole Will Somebody Go Ahead And Please Eat My Head thing. It’s about all I can muster. It’s not that I’m not calm, or grateful, or relieved, or excited. I am all that and frozen, too. I fret for every page, every eye.

My family waits. The report I’ve got due for a client waits. The next book waits. The girl with her shitkicker boots, a lost queen of whales, a skyborne pirate rebel named Rasmus. Her father found me first, urgent to frame the fatherlessness of the girl who would become Missy Bullseye. I hear him whisper to her by firelight from the bed that pulled him beaming into another world. Can you?

You are not to be lost, sweet girl. No! Whenever you get sad at your wandering mother or your all-gone father all you need do is look down. And there you’ll see not one but two strong legs, lean and braided with muscle, ready to help make you fly. You will fly, sweet girl, by all your blood and your bone and the wind in your strawberry hair. And I will be your go go go. I won’t be just your daddy anymore. I will be your joy. When your heart thumps in your chest, I will be all the stars that thump along with you and tug at their pins, wishing for to chase. I will be there forever and you’ll feel my smile through the darkest pitch black, loving you.

Illustration by Sydney Smith, the Dread Crew's own. Can you imagine seeing how he sees? Can you imagine translating it? Thank you, Sydney. Because of you, people reach for my book and are instantly bewitched. I see it when it happens. And the magic of that first beholding has very little to do with me.

Comments

[wn]

When I first got the book, I flipped pages, read quickly, sped through it really....needing to know the basics, how it ended, how it morphed, how it moved, how it felt.

Now I am reading it....REALLY reading it, two or three pages at a time, max. And I am savoring it like a box of dark chocolate and a glass of red wine. A book created out of the ether. A book to be examined and loved.

And with each passing page, I feel its lure and its bewitching magic. Words and images...created in such a beautiful place. So well done...Sydney AND Kate!

I raise my glass!

[Megsie]

Oh, Kate! I haven't read your book yet, but I can't wait! I am so happy for you and all of the great reviews. I love listening to your audio stuff over at the other sight. You are amazing!

[thordora]

must listen, must find to read.

Camilla! BWAHAHA! Will Justin wear that flouncy wedding dress?

[cjm]

FInished it last night. Will patiently await another. :) Congrats again on what will surely be (and already is) a fantastic success!

[Anna]

As a mama reader from GITW, I ache that I don't have my darling girl here and toddling around, dreaming of the days when I can someday read your novel with her. Then again, had I never lost her, I would never have been turned on to GITW and found you (and then, your novel). So...I dream, instead, of finding another girl in the years to come, in some way. Even if she's not another daughter. Because you and your writing are positively exquisite. And wow, am I ever with you on the head-swallowing theme. :)

[neena]

I always feel kind of speechless after reading your words. They just flow and sing across the page.

My book should be arriving soon!

[nicole]

That illustration is marvelous -- just what I would have wanted when I was a kid to hang on my wall. Maybe even now, too. But I have a feeling people get bewitched by your words, too, in addition to the pictures. Good luck with the second one!

[Boy Crazy (@claritychaos)]

I can't wait.

[maggie, dammit]

What Neena said. For sure. Always.

I am so grinny over all of this for you. I really, really am.

xo

[Hannah]

Aaagghh, Thor made the flouncy wedding dress joke before I had a chance to. So... will Justin be developing an eating disorder and making friends with Elton John?

[kate]

I don't know you from Adam and am still spinning over how I stumbled upon your blog, but I feel like I just went back in time 13 years ago. I too had twins boys and one passed away. I just read a few of your twin entries and can't believe how similar I felt. I've never read your blog before today and just felt inspired to share my story with you, if your interested. I would also love to share a picture my parents bought me many years ago of twin boys, one is kissing the cheek of the other. To our family it is very symbolic and meaningful. It has hung in my son's room since I got it. I'll try to figure out who the artist is and see if I can send the info to you. It's precious. Thank you for the good read.

[elizabeth]

I just got your book in the mail and look forward to reading it with my sons. That illustration is amazing -- the girl, the little whale tail. Wow.

[Alison, Brighton, UK]

That makes you Prince Charles. But you have smaller ears!

Loved listening to the interview on CBC (didn't hear anything muttered under your breath) - your voice sounded all lilty and full of vigour like the pirates you described.

Was reading today about a new scent called 'Old Library' which is supposed to evoke leather book bindings and wood polish. Would rather get a whiff of 'The Dreadcrew' any day.

[Barb]

Kate!!! I've been reading your blog for a little under a year now I think. Found you through Thordora and my friend Carin. It was really cool tto hear your voice this morning. You sound very different than I imagined you, but I was glad to finally put a voice to the writing that I hear my computer read aloud all the time.

[Loth]

Wah! My copy hasn't arrived yet! (Pesky transatlantic post!) and I don't know whether to wait till I've read it before listening to your interview or listen first and then read the book when it comes...........oh the angsty dilemma!

[steph]

Got mine last night. Read the first chapter with the boychild. It is wonderful in every way. Can't wait to read more tonight!

[Gonzomama]

you are a poet.
and i am swooning over that illustration.

[lara]

WOW. I have to order the book after reading the words from Missy's father. Amazing writing.
I have been following your blog and glow for about a year now. Thanks for all your magic words. You and Justin and the boys should come visit my husband, two girls, and I in Telluride this winter. Hook you up with a free place to stay and lift tickets. Boys can ski gnarly fun stuff and we can ski, laugh, and talk about the baby boys that are not here. Just a wild thought I had one day because your blog has been so entertaining and filled with beauty and thought a little more estrogen might sound appealing! Well at the very least I will start by reading your book to my big girl-she will love it!

With love of the wild rapscalians romping somewhere special I hope!

Best,
Lara