Such a wonderful way to explain Liam to Evan. But I find the fish story hysterical. When my sister was little, she thought her goldfish was lonely and needed to be carried around the house from time to time (or so I've been told).

I've re-typed this comment 3 times now. All I can think to say is that Kate has one of the most beautiful souls in the universe.

i want all of your family's dreams. :)
such tenderness in this post, all of it.
xoxo

The dreams in our house tend to be "ice cream land" or "candy land". It's sweet.

Explaining death has been easy for me, spinning a web of continuums and snakes eating their own tales. But I wonder, how they know, if they know, especially when it seems like our lost souls whisper in their ears.

And I am never taking Ros fishing, for she will refuse to leave it behind as well.

this post is so real, so everyday life ... and i absolutely love it.

oh and evan's fishing gear is the real deal. i love it!

I love that conversation betw you and Evan. Beautiful and exploding with love. What will I dream of tonight, Kate?
Of sparkling rainbows, walking fish, ice-cream eating fish, beautiful mermaids, and Liam.

OH YES I CAN! How can I love someone I never met so much?

Thank you for sharing your conversation with him about Liam. You did it beautifully.

That. Was. Perfect.

Oh, how you capture the essence of life, Kate.

That fish story: priceless.

Love, bountiful, to you, friend.

The picture and fish story are making me giggle.

through my tears, from the first part. Oof.

You have the most lovely imagination - I wish I had a mommy like you.

You are such a good mama, Kate....to all your boys. Thanks for sharing your conversation with Ben.

Sweet dreamd to all of you.

i call pnut goose, too- short for silly goose. the bean is, of course, gosling. what a good way to explain liam to evan- i don't have a clue how i'll even begin when the time comes.

i would also like to dream about monkeys on ferris wheels tonight...b/c evan is my kinda people.

He will dream monkeys and ferris wheels...because you have eased his mind. You really are wonderful.

I find myself wondering what the fish will dream about...probably of Evan, too...

i was so moved by this, and could hear your voices, both of you...but the parts i want to comment on are the parts where my laughter overtook me...

"i don't have a heart. i'm a big boy."
"HE WANTS ICE CREAM."

i wish, in a way, we could all live a little more in-between the worlds of life and death, like a three year old does.

i loved the way you explained it to him. i used to work at a bearevement center for children who had lost someone close to them - be in parent, sibling, grandparent. in our workshops, we never pushed one set of beliefs or the other but rather taught them how to understand about things that are alive and how they die. i swear i've never heard more insightful and meaningful things on the subject than when i talked with those tiny souls about their loss.

You describe the most deliciously evocative dreams to your boy.

Oh, the sweetness of it all. That Evan-boy is quite remarkable!

I am a relatively new reader of your blog and I am continually touched by your amazing language and the way you communicate so beautifully to your family. Evan sounds like a lovely, thoughtful and wonderfulyl hysterical little boy.

OK, first I was all touched by the story about Evan and Liam... and then I you cracked my shit up with the fish. Michael and I are both laughing at the idea of Evan carrying the fish with him wherever he goes.

you make me feel less alone
thank you

yes. very good. thank you.
intense.
well handled.
peace.

Sorry...I meant to say thanks for sharing your conversation with Evan:)

How is Ben feeling? I read on Glow in the Woods that ya'll had a hospital visit for Croup...

I think that was the most beautiful Mama-Son exchange I've ever witnessed. Evan seems to have inherited your wise, sparkling spirit.

Beautifully written. I love your dreams. Evan is a lucky boy to have so much love from his mama.

If I could just think like him just for one second, I think I'd have it all figured out.

It amazes me at how in-touch, in-tune, and aware kids are. He has such a beautiful soul. You are an amazing woman and mama.
***
I wish you were there to tell me what I'd dream about every night-so creative and imaginative!

I love your writing so very much. Thank you for sharing this with us.

beautiful...

♫ I took a fish head out to the movies. He didn't have to pay to get in.♫

Lovely, just lovely.

I think I need to be more creative when planning my dreams as well:)

oh my gosh, that was so funny (the last part, that is). The first part was so sweet, but I'm glad you finished with the fish story b/c it's such a great way to say that life goes on in the midsts of having these moments. Thank you Kate, I love your writing.

And fishotopia, how awesome is that?!

very perfect, very beautiful

The exchange between you and Evan is nothing short of beautiful. Really.

I have had these conversations with my little big boy, the little one with the big heart, who is trying to understand something that hurts his heart, but he doesn't know why.
It always breaks my heart that he has to feel some of it too, in his own little way, in this hazy, confused, even light-hearted way. It is comforting, at the same time, how real it is to him.
love to your boys, all 3. they are so beautiful.

Kate, I love reading your blogs. I stumbled across it while I was pregnant and read all about your precious babies. My son was born with Pierre-Robin sequence and he was in the hospital for over a month. He was finally sent home with a feeding tube and apnea monitor and I remember those lost days in the NICU where time meant nothing. You are so strong...

I had a really difficult time with Phoenix (2½) the other day - this has never happened before: He was sitting on the potty and, totally random, said "Momma's belly big, baby Nell in Momma's belly." I said that no baby Janell wasn't in my belly and then I asked him where she was - we talk about her often enough that he knows who Janell is and that she lives "downstairs" meaning that's where her picture and urn is or he says "way up" 'cause she lives in the stars and we point up to her. But this time Phoenix answered, "Baby Nell up high in trees, Mommy Daddy go get her." He was so happy when he asked that - like I could just pull her out of the sky for him to play with and all our problems would go away. "No Phoenix" I explained, "Baby Janell lives in our hearts and she is always with us but Mommy and Daddy can't go get her. We can't see her because she's in the stars." Phoenix then broke down in tears - really honestly cried his heart out. He told me he missed her and wanted her and that mommy and daddy need to go and get her. It took all the strength in me to not cry right along with him. I hugged him tight and asked him if he wanted to see her picture. We went over to her shelf and took out her teddy and looked at her picture. He touched her face in the picture and carried her teddy around for the next couple hours. He cried so hard and was so sad. I wish there was something I could say but his sister died, how am I supposed to make that better?

Oh, Liz.. my heart. You are making it better though. by just being the kind of mama you are... by being with him as he tries to understand. I think that's all we can do.

Your writing touches my heart and soul more than I could ever describe. You're an amazing writer and person and I feel very lucky to have discovered your blog. I'm so sorry that you lost Liam. I wish things had turned out differently. Part of me wants to say "there must be a reason for this", but that's just so....stupid and pointless and I know it doesn't help anything and it's one of those things that you must truly hate when people say it. But the way that you write, and the depth of emotion that you feel and are able to describe...I can't help but think that it's a gift and that you're here to help other people who are dealing with the same thing that you are.

I've been lurking for a long time and I just had to leave you a note and thank you for sharing such powerful and honest emotion with us. I don't know you, but I've laughed and cried along with your blog, and I thank you for that!

I saw more out of the fish story than a light hearted tid-bit, and I liked what I saw.

Evan and Ben are lucky to have you for their mummy. The way you talked about Liam with Evan is perfect, you couldn't have said it better. xoxodaph