drugs and decadence

I always board planes with disbelief that a hunk of metal can fly—the same disbelief at the sight of a multi-tonne oil tanker bobbing in the liquid that comes out of a tap. As we take off I almost have to restrain myself from squealing Hey everyone, we’re MOVING! We’re IN THE AIR! We’re FLYYYYING! WHEEEE!

In our younger and more nubile days I used to follow Justin rockclimbing and one of our first trips was to Acadia National Park, a stretch of cliff on Maine’s northern shore.

On the day of my first rappel I peered over the wall to see swell crashing several stories underneath, then turned with my back to the expanse and pivoted over the edge until I was standing horizontal, walking backwards with the ocean parallel to my back.

Then I looked over my shoulder. Vertigo multiplied by the rumble of frothing waves, I said something nonchalant and totally adorable like my goodness this is a long way up, and by the way, I think I NEED FRESH PANTS.

Don’t worry, Justin said. If we were only fifty feet up and you fell, you’d probably die. So who cares if you’re three hundred feet up? You’d still die. There’s no point in being afraid of the extra height.

(If you think that’s smooth, you should hear his sweet nothings.)

The same is true strapped into a multi-tonne hunk of flying metal so you may as well marvel at the wonder of it all.

+++++

I am at a hotel and can safely say that there should be federal legislation against letting quite this much hang quite this much out.

The coast guard had to come and rescue me from the bath with sonar and GPS, just as planned. The paramedics had to treat me for third-degree BLISS. There is no longer a nest of tent caterpillars between the toes of my left foot. I dried my hair. With A BLOW-DRYER. I haven’t done this in years. Not kidding. The reinstatement of basic hygiene has transformed me into a bloody Breck girl. I am ten pounds lighter. A patch of daisies pops up at my feet with every step.

I am dosed with a cocktail of extra-strength Advil, Buckley’s mixture, 1000 mgs of vitamin C battery acid, three lozenges, Zim’s Crack Cream (for my cold sores, you PERVERTS) and Burt’s Bees Zit Stick. A neo-citran nightcap lies in wait.

The zits and the facial pox may or may not retreat in time for tomorrow afternoon but as long as I don’t have to resort to a mixture of mime and the clicking language of the South African Xhosans, I’ll be content.

Especially with THIS to come back to. Will you hate me if I say nonnie, nonnie, nonnie? TOO BAD.

(addendum: yes, that's me jumping on the bed, blurred thanks to a slow shutter speed. Just be thankful I had the decency to put the complimentary egyptian cotton bathrobe on first.)

+++++

I keep saying Liam, are you here? I have some time to spend with you but he’s busy, not answering. I’m not sure if he’ll show up or not. That’s okay. I’m here for the rest of them too, for the mamas and the daddies, all of us restoring by way of company.

I’m sorry for the YAY! sniff. YAY! sniff. It’s glorious to be here, to be hanging the hell OUT (snaps ‘Z’). Nerve-wracking, the talk. Butterflies at the thought of my boys at home. Naked interpretive dancing. What? Who said that? I didn’t say that.

Comments

[Hannah]

I just love you. But not in a weird, stalkerish way. I'm having a blue night and you just made me smile with your talk of bathtubs and hairdryers and Liam having mysterious errands of his own while you have a rest.

[crazymumma]

I love that you talk to Liam and that he is busy with his own stuff. That is just so alive.

[SweetSalty's Mom]

Close your eyes, we are all there with you, then look for the light...
lots of love and <<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>and Saturday cupcakes
Mom and Dad

[HMFT]

I felt Liam today. We spent last week in Louisiana, for my twenty year reunion. Hot as hell, it was. We returned home to NC, and to Fall.

Today, Liam blew into the car with Jackson. On a crisp, leaf-infused gust. I felt it clear as day. Jackson squirmed happily, and babbled about it.

I wanted you to know.

[Antigone]

nonnie nonnie? oh dear.

[Paula]

Is no one else going to ask why there appears to be a presence on the bed???? Am I the only one that can see this???

[MereMortal]

So.Very.Deserved
...(the Va-cay in the Swank of it all, not the acne/throat/cold sore afflictions).
The presence on the bed? I think it's Sweet/Salty herself doing a handstand in pure BLISS!
xoxo

[thordora]

oh I know that feeling-the absolute soul freeing feeling of being responsible only to yourself...and room service.

Enjoy it. THe budget is keeping me from travelling to the south this fall, so I might make my way to your place come November so I can jump on your bed. :)

[KYouell]

I just got back from a conference that could have been that fun but I chose to "spare" my husband and brought them all along. He thinks his job would have been easier at home alone with the 2 kids than it was down there with 2 grandmas and my aunt to help him. Uh-huh. Next time I'm going alone. Why torture everyone because I think I know better? I'd rather be jumping on the bed in the hotel's bathrobe!

[mamie]

ah, i love you. the breathe of fresh air you bring every time is so lovely. have a good talk tomorrow. he and we are there.

crack cream. ha ha.

[alison]

You're gonna do great!
I got a coldsore today too! And I've been fighting the hormonal acne all week! I feel ya. I, however, do not have to stand up in front of a crowd and speak my heart, so, best of luck.
If they way you speak is anything remotely as cool and eloquent as the way you write, you're gonna do great.

[Jenn]

I am right there with you--in the opposite. My little one and her pops took a weekend trip themselves. I amble around thinking of all I could do. Thanks for the bed idea. Have a great time, I am sure it will all go well.

[Elaine]

Oh, my. How I adore thee!

[emily]

Enjoy!

(As if I had to say that.)

[jen]

I do kinda hate you :P I LOVE HOTELS, time alone...! That picture is (place big fabulous complimentary word here). I love it. I really love it. Your kids are so cute but when all you got is a trendy, albeit fab hotel room and a white robe and you make it that, well I can't decide to hate you less or more. Just kidding of course :)

[camerashymomma]

that photo is awesome. enjoy it. all of it. you deserve it.

[Jo]

Oh you lovely sole. I swear I;d be your best friend if I lived anywhere remotely close to you. En-joy this time, in all its glorious reflection. It is so beautiful that you are taking time to honor your Liam and others' babies; it will be cathartic, in many ways, surely. In between that all, the solitude will, I'm sure, be amazing too. Your boys will have a wonderfully messy time, I'm sure. If anything, your house might be a tad smelly upon return (Justin, kidding, if you read this - I'm really thinking about the wreck my own boys put upon our house tonight, good grief! It was only pizza for dinner!) but it will be heaven to see them when you get back. And that's a great part about being away, too. For now, enjoy the moments with yourself (and Liam), the quiet, and the bath water...XO

[ernesta]

Your rock climbing story made me laugh! Thanks!

[LaskiGal]

Yay/sniff all you want. I am laughing. Tearing up. Pondering. I'm hooked.

And that room . . . luscious. Really.

Take good care . . . sending positive thoughts your way.

I hope it was a success . . . in more ways than one.

[beyond]

YAY! sniff. YAY! sniff. (or yay. SNIFF! yay. SNIFF!)
i like that, it's LIFE, isn't it? i love how you connect with liam, wonder what he was up to just then?
you can get neocitran in canada? i always stock up when i'm in europe.
now go take another bubble bath... enjoy.

[Janet]

I'll have what Kate's having. Oh, it's crack CREAM? Never mind.

I joke! Enjoy yourself.